Relationship Questions

This past Sunday I collected several questions about relationships. I am going to blog about these for the next several weeks. If you put a question in hopefully you will see it addressed at some point. I would like to depend on your insight, wisdom and life experience also. Therefore, I am going to state the question and give a response, but I want you to chime in the conversation.

Question: How do you deal with a non-believing spouse who has objected to hearing about God? (This question has been submitted several times in slightly different wording. So I know it is a concern for many of us)

The question is general in nature… it doesn’t state specifically what the issue is. The most common we think about is how do we witness or share about Christ if our spouse is determined not even to listen. This can be very painful because our relationship with Christ is such an integral part of our lives. We want to share our faith with the most other significant person in our lives.

However, there are a number of other issues that can arise also. This is created because the foundation that the spouses operate from is different. This can make already complicated communications even more complex.

Also, the question is can sometimes be interpreted as coming from a wife. But I know many men that are in similar situations.

I am going to give some quick bullet points to start the conversation, but please jump in and share, correct, deepen, etc.

  • Matthew 19 frames marriage as ordained by God. Therefore, if your spouse is faithful then you should remain absolutely committed to them. Do not let your mind or heart wander.
  • James 1:19-20 instructs us that we should be “Quick to listen and slow to speak.” So put yourself in a position to hear what they have to say. Also hear what they do not say. Speak softly and gently.
  • 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that God can fill us with his love and we can demonstrate that to our spouses whether they believe or not. That is the best witness we have according to 1 Peter 3.
  • Philippians 4:6 encourages us to call on God’s power for our frame of mind and our concerns in life… pray for your spouse and for yourself.


A practical thought:

  • Try to get your spouse connected to other believers through common interests… not for the purpose of preaching, but friendship.

I know there are many other insights out there… pitch in!

If you or someone in your family haven’t been baptized please contact Kcwienkala@fvcn.org we are planning a baptism service in the very near future.

Great to be your Pastor,

Dave


Posted on Tue, February 21, 2012 by Dave Bennett

5 comments (Add your own)

1. Nancy wrote:
As a single person and someone who is a new believer (although I always believed...I am just more committed now) when I have conflict in interpersonal relationship I try to simply share my experiences and be authentic. In other situations I ask others what they believe in-do they believe in miracles and if so from their standpoint how do miracles happen.....and then actively listen and help them find their own solutions...just engaging and meeting them at the place they are. Establish some trust and open communication and who knows where it can go...
I received loving Christian Care long before I was baptised and I want to ensure, in my own way, that I am extending that care to others in a fashion that they can hear it and that I am respectful...they have to find their own way, I can't dictate that my way would work for someone else, but I can aide in the process if I am asked.

Tue, February 21, 2012 @ 8:30 PM

2. Tom Heath wrote:
If we look at 1 Peter 3:1-7 we find how a beliver, man or woman, should act around an unbeleving spouse. I see two things here that speak to us about the outward and inward person. We should present ourselves to our spouses, that is take care of our body, so that we will be physically attractive, as much as possible. However, it is the inward beauty, the new nature controlled by the Holy Spirit, that should draw your spouse to the Lord. Leave the preaching to our pastor and show your spouse by your works that God is who he says he is.

When I was in charge of the prayer ministry, in another church, there was a woman, very involved in the prayer ministry, who husband was dieing of cancer and we prayed for this man every day. He wasn't a christian and she hammered him on a regular basis about salvation. I had the opportunity to talk to his christian doctor about him. He told me that there is no doubt in his mind that the man is saved. He told me the reason his wife didn't know was due to her relentless hounding to him about salvation. She never shared in the joy of her spouse coming to the Lord.

Pray for the salvation of your spouse and let the Holy Spirit do his work. Many times we push people away from God instead of drawing them to him. Our words and how we act have a real impact on our spouses.

Wed, February 22, 2012 @ 5:28 AM

3. Janine Bryant wrote:
Yes, I agree with all of this, but especially with the last bullet point. Surrounding yourselves and your marriage with believers can help demonstrate (through the behavior and light of others) God's blessings to those who do not yet believe. It speaks volumes! Unbelievers look from the outside in and eventually will begin to question why these folks are so happy, blessed, content, etc...Great points, Dave!

Wed, February 22, 2012 @ 8:45 AM

4. Dave wrote:
Thanks for the good insights. All of these thoughts points to how valuable people are in our lives and when we hold a truth so sacred the desire to share it in word and experience is important to us.

Wed, February 22, 2012 @ 1:02 PM

5. Shannon wrote:
From the teachings of St. Francis of Assisi--

“Preach the Gospel, if necessary use words.”

Tue, February 28, 2012 @ 7:42 PM

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