Dave's Blog

This past Sunday I collected several questions about relationships. I am going to blog about these for the next several weeks. If you put a question in hopefully you will see it addressed at some point. I would like to depend on your insight, wisdom and life experience also. Therefore, I am going to state the question and give a response, but I want you to chime in the conversation.

Question: How do you deal with a non-believing spouse who has objected to hearing about God? (This question has been submitted several times in slightly different wording. So I know it is a concern for many of us)

The question is general in nature… it doesn’t state specifically what the issue is. The most common we think about is how do we witness or share about Christ if our spouse is determined not even to listen. This can be very painful because our relationship with Christ is such an integral part of our lives. We want to share our faith with the most other significant person in our lives.

However, there are a number of other issues that can arise also. This is created because the foundation that the spouses operate from is different. This can make already complicated communications even more complex.

Also, the question is can sometimes be interpreted as coming from a wife. But I know many men that are in similar situations.

I am going to give some quick bullet points to start the conversation, but please jump in and share, correct, deepen, etc.

• Matthew 19 frames marriage as ordained by God. Therefore, if your spouse is faithful then you should remain absolutely committed to them. Do not let your mind or heart wander.
• James 1:19-20 instructs us that we should be “Quick to listen and slow to speak.” So put yourself in a position to hear what they have to say. Also hear what they do not say. Speak softly and gently.
• 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that God can fill us with his love and we can demonstrate that to our spouses whether they believe or not. That is the best witness we have according to 1 Peter 3.
• Philippians 4:6 encourages us to call on God’s power for our frame of mind and our concerns in life… pray for your spouse and for yourself.

A practical thought:

• Try to get your spouse connected to other believers through common interests… not for the purpose of preaching, but friendship.

I know there are many other insights out there… pitch in!

If you or someone in your family haven’t been baptized please contact Kcwienkala@fvcn.org we are planning a baptism service in the very near future.

Great to be your Pastor,

Dave

Ephesians 5:32, “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

Paul has just delivered some instruction concerning husbands and wives and then he concludes with the statement above.  Sunday I said, “Our spouses were not given to us to meet our every need, but to point us to who can--- Christ.”  I believe there is a spiritual purpose to every marriage.  Do you agree or disagree?  If so what is it? How has your spouse helped you?… (we are only taking the helpful comments)!

I apologize!  Last week there was a 3x5 card in the program. I was suppose to tell you any question about marriage you have write it on the card and I will be blogging about it the next several weeks in my blog.  So if I forget… that is the purpose of the card this week!  Write your question and put it in the baskets that are passed for the offering at the end!

I was incredibly proud of a family this past week.  They met a family who was there for the first time and then invited them to lunch!  Kingdom in action!  What a great example for all of us.  Lets share the love.

See you Sunday,

Dave

I know it sounds aggressive but you will not want to miss the teaching.  Jesus has some powerful words about the way we are suppose to live life together!  The Holy Spirit will empower us to walk it out!

You will also get a chance to submit any question you have about marriage and relationships and I will blog through the questions for the next several weeks.  I don’t have all (or maybe any) answers, but it will allow us to keep the conversation about our most important earthly relationships we have.  I will simply attempt to share what the scripture has to say.

Looking forward to seeing you Sunday… bring a friend.

Dave

Romans 3:23, “For we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God…”

Scriptures are us so full of insight. Just this simple thought thatwe are sinners informs us that:

• we are not perfect
• we need grace
• we need God’s help

 When we apply this simple truth to our relationships it is a gift to everyone we are friends with. It is a wonderful gift to our spouse.

Are there other biblical truths that have helped you in your friendships, family or marriage relationships? I would love to hear them.

• There are some great things happening in the life of our church:
• Our marriage classes have 60+ people involved
• Feb. 25th there is a prayer seminar
• Feb. 25 is our first Saturday Night Worship
• Wednesday nights during Lent- we are calling people to begin a fast each Tuesday night and break it with us Wednesday night in a time of prayer and sharing
• Gracia Burnham will share her story March 4th Sunday am only

Invite everyone you know!

This Sunday the title of the message is “Axes and Knives” I know a little scary for a marriage message, but you will have to come out to find the answers.

See you Sunday,

Dave

Hebrews 13:4a  “Marriage should be honored by all”

When I was first married to Megan I was encouraged to “honor marriage- even if you don’t like it” I was confused. Why would I have to honor my marriage? Wouldn’t these altruistic, lovey-dovey, rainbow-butterfly feelings last forever? I shrugged the advice off as the babblings of an old man tainted by the long road of a rough marriage. If it meant anything at all I figured it must have been meant for those who didn’t really understand what it was like to fall in love with their soul mate.

But for anyone that has been through fights, sickness, kids, in-laws, cold shoulders, hot tempers, and the vast array of other issues that inevitably visit every marriage- you know that marriage is worthy of honor- even when it isn’t fun.

So what does it mean to honor marriage? Does it mean that we hunker down and stay in a loveless marriage because we have a religious obligation to be stay? I hope not. Our motivation must be fueled by an active pursuit, not a passive resignation. The honor we show toward marriage comes in the form of identifiable actions.

Our example is Christ. He honored the church, his bride, to the point of death. He sweat drops of blood and he took the pain of the cross. He did not do this out of religious duty or zeal- he did it because he believed that a relationship with us was worth fighting for. If Jesus believed we were worth it- who are we to give up on each other?

We honor our marriage and the marriages of other by acknowledging the witness of Christ and following in his footsteps in our own marriage.

That was a great message this week! Thanks Bryan and Linda for your wisdom and example!

If you have enjoyed our series on marriage post a comment and any insights you have gained! Come next week to Celebrate, Connect, and Care!

Keeps your hands up and keep fighting to honor marriage this week!

Luke

 2Corinthians 6:14-16a, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God…”

This is one of the scriptures my small group discusses Sunday night. We applied it to marriage. One of the brilliant members of the group expounded a little on the illustration of being yoked. If there are two animals yoked and one is significantly weaker, then the animals will only move in circles and not make progress. That is an interesting picture.

We also discussed if we are equally yoked with a believer in marriage that it helps us by having:

• the same motivation
• the same basis of authority (scripture
• the same perspectives of self and sin
• the same help from God to help us grow

What are some other advantages to being equally yoked?

This Sunday you will love the teaching. It is going to be way cool, so be here and invite a friend!

Dave

Philippians 2:1-5, “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…”

This is a great passage for all relationships… especially our primary earthly relationship with our spouse… here are a few insights from Sunday’s teaching:

• We are twisted by sin from conception- it affects everything about us
• Our expectations of our spouse are twisted because of our sinfulness
• We need God’s help to untwist us- Jesus is our only hope!
• We need God’s help to deliver encouragement to our spouses
• We need God’s help to move us towards like-mindedness
• We need God’s help to stop us for our selfish conceit

Someone asked me, “I am not married. Should I come the next several weeks?” Let me answer that:

• Absolutely! In fact you should invite everyone you know!
• Relationship principles work across all relationships
• You know a marriage that needs help and this can equip you
• We are teaching the Bible and you don’t exclude sections!
• You are being selfless showing support to others in the church

I could go on and on but these should be sufficient!

Looking forward to gathering this Sunday!!!!

Dave

Philippians 2:1, “If you have any encouragement…”

I heard somewhere years ago that encouragement was “putting courage in.” Paul briefly discusses the courage that should be put in us through our relationship with Christ.

• Courage to live this Jesus life out, in a world that often had different values

Courage to be kind in the face of cruelty

Courage to be gentle when treated harshly

Courage to be joyful even in loss

Courage to be peaceful when surrounded by turmoil

Courage to be patient when pressured

Courage to have self-control in a world that has self-rule

Courage to be humble when assaulted with arrogance

Courage to reconcile when one would severe the relationship

I want you to live 2012 with the type of courage that comes from the Father of heavenly lights! God loves you and wants to fill you with His Spirit. Remember throughout 2012 what Paul wrote to Timothy, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

Thank you for your courage to give the way you did during the holiday season… there will be a DVD to celebrate all your great efforts this Sunday.

We are starting a strong marriage and family emphasis this Sunday. But please know the scriptures taught will bring value to all our relationships.

Invite someone to join you this Sunday… they will love the teaching and this time of year everyone is thinking about personal change.

Looking forward to being together,

Dave

Ezekiel 40:1-2, “In the twenty-fifth year of our exile, at the beginning of the year, on the tenth of the month, in the fourteenth year after the fall of the city—on that very day the hand of the LORD was upon me and he took me there. In visions of God he took me to the land of Israel and set me on a very high mountain, on whose south side were some buildings that looked like a city.”

 Wow! Is this fitting or what? Ezekiel at the beginning of the year was given a vision by God for the upcoming year. We could go into the vision that God gave Ezekiel, but I want you to catch that God has a vision for you this upcoming year. Do you know what it is? Have you asked Him? Let me share a few general directions to get connected with:

• Genesis 15:1- Do not be afraid of God’s vision
• Genesis 46- It may be to explore a new pattern of living
• 1 Samuel 3:15- Don’t be afraid to tell others your vision
• Lamentations 2:14- God’s vision will cause you to confess your sin
• Acts 9- The vision may lead you into connecting with people you never thought of before
• Acts 10- The vision may break a strongly held prejudice
• Acts 16- The vision will include sharing Christ with others
• Proverbs 20:18- Seek advice before you commit
• Romans 12- Your vision will be connected to your church

Alright… I called you to seek God for vision… here are some of the things he has been speaking to me about:

• Call the church to prayer -
     -  You might have noticed our monthly prayer guides in the bulletins at the beginning of each month
     -  January 8th is our first of several praise and prayer times for this year
     -  I am taking a personal journey with some men through a prayer devotional
     -  Lent is a time we will fast and pray
• Become more aggressive in sharing the good news - 
    -  Let people know that the church is here… FVC is a great church and our community needs to become more aware of us
    -  Start another service- Saturday night service is being planned- contact Bheil@fvcn.org if you would like to help out or attend… he is helping organize… I will be teaching
    -  Call our people to connect with their friends and family
• Reach out to families with great intention - 
    -  Notice the Smalley’s coming- invite your friends and sign up yourself!
    -  We have started several family ministries- Check out the Group Catalog at the Resource Center
    -  Opening the first teaching series of the year- Man vs Wife

There are so many opportunities to fulfill God’s call at FVC! Join in with your church and find God’s vision for you this year!

 Dave

Matthew 2:2-4, ““Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”  When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. “

Has Jesus disturbed you? I know that sounds like an odd question. We are used to the idea of his comfort, care, provision, healing, etc. But have you been disturbed by his arrival? We should be. The arrival of Christ in our lives should uproot us from the soil of the world and replant us in the soil of his spirit. Our thoughts, patterns, beliefs, pursuits should take on a different motivation and direction. Unless you have been disturbed by His arrival you have not yet celebrated Christmas. Be disturbed into making Celebration/Worship, Connection/Group life, Care/Ministry a part of your normal life.

Some ideas to help you have a disturbing Christmas:
• Invite someone to join you for our traditional Christmas Eve services at 2:00, 3:45 or 5:30
• Bring non-perishable food items and help us fill our pod up to deliver to hungry people in Philadelphia
• Invite a person that has no place to go to join your family this Christmas season
• Give the gift of presence to the lonely

Hoping for a disturbing Christmas,

Dave